


Don't stop being selfish

by ValkyrieShepard



Series: Avocados at law [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Oneshot, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:10:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3818329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieShepard/pseuds/ValkyrieShepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt had planned on a quiet night in, just pleasuring himself, and at the time it seemed a good idea to invite his friend to join him when he suddenly showed up. But brushing it off as just sex turns out to be harder than he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't stop being selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the TV show, I know nothing about the comics, except that one time he showed up in one of Deadpool's.

Matt had heard Foggy coming up the stairs to his apartment, of course he had, but due to his… circumstances, it had happened way later than he normally would. Naked, on his bed, bruised and wounded but pleasuring himself, lost in the sensation, the pressure building up through his stimulation.

 

He only froze briefly as he heard his best friend knock, he had been here for a while, and it would not take that much longer for him to come. Of course he could stop, still had time to hide the dildo, to cover himself and pretend he was sleeping, exhausted from another fight. But something stopped him, maybe his lust addled brain, maybe the faint memory of what it was like to be with his best friend, though the last time had been quite a few years ago.

 

It had started as all things had in college, with alcohol, leading to drunk make outs, drunk fucks, and then not so drunk… if Matt were romantically inclined he might have called it love making. They had never strictly talked about what it was, had never agreed to be exclusive, either, and then they’d gotten girlfriends, or started dating other people, drifted off from that part of their relationship and had chalked it off to ‘experimentation’.

 

Matt knew it was bullshit, but at the time having a best friend, potentially for life, had meant so much more to him than sex ever could. And it still did, though a part of him, a very selfish part, thought that it it was possible to have both.

 

And, well, he was just really, really horny right now.

 

So he didn’t stop, even when Foggy turned the key in the lock, the one he had insisted on getting after finding out what Matt tended to do most nights. In case he was collapsed on the floor and bleeding out, with no one able to reach him. It wasn’t the case tonight, but maybe Foggy had forgotten something here, Matt didn’t quite care at the moment.

 

His own heart started to beat faster as Foggy made his way through the apartment, thinking he wasn’t there, but finally coming to a standstill in front of the open doorway leading to his bedroom. He still hadn’t gotten around to fixing it, but that was the furthest thing from his mind now. Matt was in full view of him like this, but Foggy didn’t turn away, didn’t gasp, didn’t say anything. He was just staring. So why not give him a little show?

 

Matt arched his back as he pushed the dildo further inside himself again, hitting that lovely, lovely sweet spot. The low, breathy moan he let out at that was a calculated one, one he knew all of his lovers had liked in the past, including Foggy. And it had the desired effect: His friend’s breath quickened, heartbeat rising by the second, and that telltale sign of his body temperature rising as well… He was getting as aroused as he already was.

 

But Foggy was fidgeting too, he knew that quick, nervous lick of his tongue over his lip, the shifting of his weight from one foot onto the other. He wasn’t sure what to do, despite the erection pressing against his jeans.

 

“Are you going to just stand there, ah-”, Matt gasped as he slowly pulled the dildo out of himself. “Or are you going to join me?”

 

He had to concentrate - which was hard for him at the moment - but for a moment he could actually hear Foggy’s heart, and his breathing, stop. Then a tentative step forward, and Matt turned onto his side to smile up at his friend, who seemed to need a bit of encouragement. It had been a while since anything between them had happened, but they had never explicitly said that it would never again be the case.

 

“You knew I was here?”, Foggy eventually asked, now standing just in front of his bed, so close to joining him… Matt craved it now, craved to be fucked by him. It had been so long, and he had to admit he _loved_ it, but rarely let himself have it because… well he wasn’t sure why, maybe because he didn’t trust anyone else the way he trusted his best friend.

 

“Heard you unlock the door”, he replied with a crooked grin, his hand sliding over the sheets towards Foggy. An invitation.

 

“Damn and you didn’t-”, he stopped himself, but sat down on the edge of the bed, not touching him. “Matt… are you sure?”

 

There it was, the dreaded question.

 

“Foggy”, he whispered, trying not to grin at the way it made his friend’s breath hitch again. “I’m really horny right now, so are you, and I really want you to fuck me. It can be just that, nothing more. Not like this is our first time.”

 

“Wait… you can tell that?”

 

“Oh yes.” Grinning, Matt laid back again, spreading his legs to present himself to his friend. Who now closed the distance, settled in between his spread thighs to kiss him, so different from any of their kisses before. There was a desperation in it, an urgency as he let their tongues meet, so much passion, everything Matt had wanted and more.

 

He scrambled to unbutton Foggy’s shirt, tugging at it to help him out of it, all the while never breaking their kiss, gasping at the way his friend licked over his upper lip. He remembered how much he liked that… after all this time. Both of them grinned into the kiss as he now fumbled to get rid of those pesky jeans as well, tugging them down along with his boxers. Foggy quickly got rid of them completely and resumed his place between Matt’s thighs, now pressing their erections together.

 

Matt hadn’t touched himself at all, had wanted to take his time, to stimulate himself into his own release, so this, this was intense. It always was, even when he did this himself, because it meant letting his walls down, letting everything in and losing control. Every sensation was magnified, ten, a hundred fold, he couldn’t even say. He had no idea what this felt like to other people.

 

“Do you er…”, Foggy had finally managed to break their kiss again, which didn’t feel like a kiss from someone who wanted just sex, but this was not something he could think about right now. “Do you need some more prep?”

 

“I’ve been here for a while, just fuck me.”

 

And so he did. Just covered his length with a bit of lube before pushing into him, one sharp thrust until he was completely buried inside him. Matt couldn’t help the low, drawn out moan that elicited from him. It was one thing to do this himself, but a whole other to have his best friend inside him, hitting that sweet spot so perfectly.

 

“Matt… Matt…”, Foggy whispered, gently brushing over his forehead. “Sorry, was that too much?”

 

“No, no…”, he breathed, his chest rising and falling quickly. Slowly he let his hands wander over Foggy’s back, up and down, exploring. Coming around to brush over his chest, stomach, and back up again, finally coming to rest on his face. He had only done this once, and it had been a little awkward, because it was so intimate, but now he had another chance. “You just… you have no idea how intense this is for me.”

 

Foggy frowned a little at that, and at the way he kept brushing over his face, touch featherlight, mapping every inch of skin.

 

“Good or bad intense?”, he asked. “And… I thought you could see, why-”

 

“Because this is different, touching”, Matt interrupted. “And it’s you. With you it’s good intense. Always has been.”

 

Before he could say anything else that might betray how he really felt about his best friend, he pulled him down into another kiss and wrapped his legs around his waist. Finally Foggy started to move, starting with a gentle rhythm at first, but Matt's soft, breathy moans and whispered encouragements quickly made him speed up. It just wasn’t in him to be very loud, but Foggy was, and he loved that about him.

 

"Oh god, Matt, you're hurt", Foggy managed to get out, only now noticing, and abruptly stopping his motions. "Are you okay?"

 

"Don't stop, please. Please keep going", Matt was practically begging him, and thankfully his friend complied.

 

But as he had always been, even when they were both drunk and barely knew what they were doing, Foggy pushed into him gently, rolling his hips and hitting his sweet spot just right. Matt prefered this, loved this, above all else, to be filled up like this, the sensation almost overwhelming. No one could make love quite like Foggy Nelson could.

 

“Matt…”, Foggy moaned his name, and he knew it was a sound he would never forget. His friend buried his face in his neck, kissing him so sweetly, but the heat of his lips still almost burned his skin. Every touch, every kiss and thrust, he would remember it, treasure it, because back then he had been young and stupid, had thought they had all the time in the world to keep doing this. And then it had stopped.

 

The memory made Matt cling to Foggy’s shoulders, dig his fingers into them as the pressure built inside him. He had to bite down on his lower lip to keep from moaning, but finally, Foggy pushed into him again and he couldn’t stop it anymore. The warmth that had spread through him overwhelmed him, and he came with a deep, drawn out moan, silenced by Foggy kissing him again. And with a few more thrusts, he spilled inside him too, and he could even feel that and it was glorious. He really loved those heightened senses sometimes.

 

Foggy didn’t stop kissing him for a second, peppered sweet kitten kisses all over his jaw, and as much of his chest he could reach, let Matt find himself again and come off his high before he pulled out.

 

This was so, so much better than what he had initially planned. Foggy let himself fall onto the bed next to him, and before he could wonder if he was allowed to cuddle up to him, pulled him close. He listened to his friend’s erratic heartbeat, slowing down now, but it grounded him. He barely remembered it himself, but he got needy after this, and usually they had been drunk or tipsy enough that Foggy would let him stay like this over night.

 

“Stay the night?”, he mumbled, already drifting off, relishing in the way Foggy wasn’t as rough as him. He was soft, comfortable, gorgeous. Beautiful, too, if only he could see it. But those were thoughts that didn’t quite stick with him, not in a blissed out space as he was right now.

 

He didn’t even remember if Foggy answered him, but when Matt woke up he was still resting on his friend’s chest, listening to his now steady heartbeat. Clearly still asleep, and so he let himself have this bit of time with him, tracing random patterns on his chest, just enjoying the warmth of another human body with him.

 

Matt was lonely, he realized then. He had friends, people that cared about him, but this… this was missing, he missed it, and he hadn’t even realized. Everything else had been so much more important, protecting this city, getting Fisk behind bars, but even now that this was done, he could not stop. Still went out almost every night, stopping robbers, killers, people with ill intent. It seemed he didn’t know what else to do now.

 

There was no way, was there? That anything could happen between them, anything more than best friends. He couldn’t do that to him, not with who he was now. He already was so upset every time he saw him with a new wound, or scar, what if he stopped coming home one night, and Foggy was just there, waiting for him. It would hurt now, of course, but if they were together, it would be a hundred, a million times worse… Matt wasn’t that selfish. This would all there would be. Sex, if it came to that, nothing more. They hadn’t exactly talked about it last night, but that’s what Matt would tell him.

 

Foggy was stirring now and Matt scolded himself for not realizing the signs sooner. He was about to pull away but his friend still held him close. Maybe he could indulge himself for a little while longer.

 

“Morning”, Foggy slurred, his fingers brushing softly over his arm.

 

“Morning”, he replied, but finally managed to push himself out of the embrace, to slip out of bed and into his sweatpants. Still, he could practically feel Foggy’s eyes on him, his back, or perhaps lower. “Coffee?”

 

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll take a shower, okay?”

 

Matt nodded as he focused on making coffee, wondering where his brief illusion yesterday had come from. He couldn’t get involved with anyone, not seriously, and he knew that. He especially couldn’t do this to his best friend, just as he had known back then, this friendship was far more important.

 

“For a blind guy you make the best coffee”, Foggy said as he walked up to him, gladly accepting the mug he held out for him.

 

“You know the one thing has nothing to do with the other, right?”

 

“Yeah, I know. Whatever. So…” Just as Matt was able to tell when he got horny, he could tell that he was nervous now, about to say something, and he knew just what it was too. “Last night. Do we need to talk? I feel like we should talk, right?”

 

“Not much to say.” He took a sip of his coffee, deciding it needed more sugar and adding it. “I was horny, you helped me out.”

 

“‘Helped you out’?”, Foggy asked, grinning as he did actual finger quotes. “That’s what we’re calling it, huh?”

 

“Look, it doesn’t have to happen again. Or it can, if we feel like it. It’s not a big deal, just sex, right?” He told himself as much as he told Foggy. Just sex.

 

“Now that”, Foggy pointed at him, grinning. “That I like. Cause you know I like… doing that, with you. You’re pretty good.”

 

“Ah you know, I was actually going to give you some pointers…”, Matt teased, earning a light punch to his shoulder. “There’s room for improvement.”

 

“Oh yeah, that’s not the impression I got when you moaned my name last night.”

 

This, this he could do. Teasing, chatting, being friends was easy. Being around Foggy was so easy, so natural.

 

They decided not to tell Karen, as this was strictly on a booty call basis and they didn’t want it to affect their ‘professional relationship’, which they had both laughed at. And it was not like it was a regular thing, to meet up every other week or so, and as a matter of fact, it was never Matt who initiated it. Foggy luckily didn’t seem to notice, or didn’t care, and it was a few weeks before he came over to announce how horny he was, and to ask if he were in the mood to return the favour and help him out.

 

Despite Foggy bending him over the kitchen counter, he was gentle as always, his thrusts slow and deep, driving him absolutely crazy, turning his sea of red into a burning inferno. He had needed to hold on to something, which ended up being the faucet, and gripping it so tightly he broke it off. After, they both laughed about it, and Foggy helped him fix it. With all his training, home repairs was not something he had ever gotten around to really teaching himself.

 

He liked it when Foggy was working like this, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, exchanging the faucet they had gotten from a store around the corner. Despite working, concentrating, he still managed to keep talking for the entire time. Matt liked that about him, too, because when he was not in the mood to lead the conversation, Foggy just did it for both of them. He got distracted that day, blaming it on the post coital bliss still getting him a little high, so he didn’t react quickly enough when his friend suddenly kissed him. One quick peck on the lips, proudly announcing he was done, and that it was better than new.

 

That kiss haunted him for some reason. They rarely kissed, even when they had sex, it was true, but this one… It had been so casual, and yet so intimate in a way. Maybe he needed to distract himself, have meaningless sex with someone else, go on a date, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead he went out each night from that day on. Sometimes just patrolling, but there tended to be something that he could help out with, always. Unfortunately, he would normally think, but right now it distracted him, and maybe he was being a little bit reckless when he jumped into a drug dealer’s den without making sure how many people exactly were in there.

 

Too many, as it turned out.

 

He could handle them, sure, but not without taking a lot of hits, a few cuts as well that even his new outfit couldn’t stop. He would need to get this fixed, reinforced maybe, but it was far from his mind when he stumbled into his apartment. Matt cursed when Claire didn’t answer the phone, which meant he would need to take care of this himself, and while he could, it was never quite as elegant. First he had to peel himself out of his costume, cursing as the fabric brushed over his cuts, luckily none of them were too deep. Then, before he did anything else, he slipped into his sweatpants, to be at least a little comfortable. That outfit really was very tight sometimes.

 

Matt took his time disinfecting the wounds, trying to determine if any of them needed stitches, and deciding he’d be all right without them. Hoping, really, as he pressed patches to the larger cuts and finally putting on his hoodie, cursing softly as he zipped it up. He was tired now, so damn tired. The adrenaline had worn off, and he was really feeling the bruises and cuts now. He’d just lie down on the couch for a little bit, before he had to go to work, which would be in a few hours he realized after a quick check. He tried to remind himself to wash his face before that, as there was still blood on him, whether it was his or someone else’s, he couldn’t even remember. But he was already drifting off, and the thought was soon lost.

 

He woke up with a start, flinching because everything was sore at that moment, though he knew he was already late. But he froze when he realized that Foggy was sitting on the coffee table in front of him, watching him with a worried look on his face. He squeezed his eyes shut again, waiting for the inevitable scolding he would surely be getting any second now. But instead he received only the softest of touches, Foggy brushing a strand of hair out of his face, and he dared to open his eyes again, giving him his full attention.

 

“You didn’t call, I just wanted to make sure you were still alive”, Foggy said quietly, and now Matt realized there was a bowl of water next to him, and a cloth. Which he used to carefully dab at his face, removing the blood from it.

 

“Sorry, forgot to set the alarm.”

 

“You were actually planning on going to work like this?”, he asked, huffing. “You’re unbelievable. You need to rest, please.”

 

“No, I’m fine”, he insisted, brushing his hand away and sitting up. It hurt, but he tried not to let it show. “We can’t afford to slack off. I can’t.”

 

“Well if you’re so fine, I’m sure you’re up for some sexy times, huh?” Suddenly Foggy was on the couch beside him, pulling him close by the back of his neck, kissing him roughly.

 

Matt whimpered into the kiss, helplessly grasping for Foggy’s tie, anything to hold on to as he parted his lips. But as Foggy deepened the kiss, and pressed closer to him he brushed against one of his cuts, and despite trying very hard not to, Matt flinched.

 

“See?”, Foggy said, pulling back. “You’re not fine. You’re staying in.”

 

“I guess I don’t have a choice”, he sighed, leaning back.

 

“You really don’t.”

 

Matt could hear the grin in the way he spoke as he got up to make him some breakfast, chatting all the while. Neither of them was a very spectacular cook, but he liked Foggy’s scrambled eggs, along with some bacon of course, which were presented to him with the comment that he looked only skin and bones, and really needed to gain some weight. Apparently his friend had decided that he needed to make sure that Matt would stay and rest, and so they spent the day together in a way they hadn’t for a very long time.

 

Being together, talking, ordering a bunch of take out to eat over the course of the day, and generally not worrying about anything besides if the other person was going to eat the spring roll they had set their sights on.

 

They had a tradition that they picked up that day as well: Sometimes Foggy would turn on his laptop to watch a random show, describing ridiculous scenes that somehow weirdly matched to whatever dialogue Matt could hear. He was so talented at it, that he could make him shake with laughter, and managed to do so again today, but it made him wince with pain again. Foggy tried to pull him close, so he could rest on his chest, but he pulled away. He couldn’t do that today, being with him like this, being so comfortable together, he feared he might do something stupid if they got even closer.

 

“Matt, why’d you…”, Foggy drifted off, frowning. They’d been physically close before, it was natural, really, and Matt had never actively pulled away before.

 

“Just… I’m not in the mood today, okay?”

 

He heard his friend stand, and sigh, walking towards the window and back again. Pacing, a few times and running his hand through his hair. How had he managed to ruin the mood so quickly? Matt knew he wanted to say something, but Foggy also hated when he used his senses to ‘show off’ as he called it. So he let him pace for a while longer.

 

“This… thing”, Foggy finally said, pointing to both of them and making a vague gesture. Matt’s heart started to flutter, he knew exactly what this was about. “It’s not going to work.”

 

“I see”, he said, trying to remain calm. No more of Foggy’s touches that he craved, it had to happen some day. He briefly wondered if there was someone else. “We can stop, it’s not a big deal.”

 

“I had kind of hoped that it would be”, Foggy replied, finally coming to a standstill.

 

“What?”

 

“I can’t do this anymore, because I want more. There. I said it.” He came around the coffee table, sitting down as he had this morning.

 

He didn’t know what to say. Matt had been so concentrated on not showing how he felt, on trying to be okay with what they had, he had never even considered that Foggy could feel the same way.

 

“Hey, did you hear me?”, Foggy said, hand gently covering his.

 

“Yeah, yes, I…” Nothing. How could he tell him, make him see and still be his friend?

 

“Look, man, all that nonsense, back then… About ‘experimenting’”, the way Foggy rolled his eyes at that was almost audible, and he couldn’t help but smile for a moment. “It was all just so… such bullshit, you know? I was scared shitless of losing you as a friend, and I couldn’t bear that. I thought the two were mutually exclusive, that we could either be friends or boyfriends, but that’s just bullshit too. I realize that now. We could be both if… if you feel at all the same way. I mean… do you?”

 

“Foggy…”, he bit down on his lower lip, trying to figure out how to say this. “You… You know what I do, and you know I won’t- that I can’t stop. I’ll get hurt again, and maybe I won’t come back at all, I can’t make you worry like that.”

 

“Hey, newsflash, Matt”, he said, squeezing his hand. “I already do. You think that didn’t go through my head the entire way here? Thinking that you could be lying here, dead or dying because no one managed to get to you in time. I worry about you, constantly, but I understand this and that it’s part of the deal. Otherwise I would be long gone. But I love you, and I know this could be something amazing.”

 

“You… what?”

 

“Yeah”, Foggy grinned. “I love you, you’re my best friend. Don’t tell me that’s news to you too?”

 

He wasn’t thinking anymore, had stopped upon hearing those three words for the second time, and whatever it was that took over made him scramble into Foggy’s lap, straddling him as he leaned in for a kiss. A desperate one, much like the one his friend had initiated back when he had joined him in bed a few months ago. Matt had always tried to keep their kisses short, afraid what it might betray about him, but not anymore. Now he could kiss him to his heart’s content, explore him, letting his hands run over his arms.

 

“I… I take it you agree?”, Foggy said in between kisses, now tilting his head to press a trail of kisses to his jaw and down his neck.

 

“Yes, yes”, he breathed, whimpering softly when his hoodie was slowly being unzipped, Foggy immediately pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin. “I want… want you, for so long. God, I was so stupid.”

 

“Not going to argue with that. Bed?”, he asked, hands already on his ass to keep him in place if he were to stand, which he did as soon as Matt nodded his consent.

 

He couldn’t get enough of that feeling of Foggy’s lips on his, kept kissing him all the way to the bed, where he was placed ever so gently, his friend settling in between his legs. They just kept making out like this, finally taking their time with each other, not needing to hurry or pretend.

 

“Matt… baby…”, Foggy whispered after he had completely gotten rid of his hoodie now, and was halfway to being shirtless himself. With a grin Matt ruffled his hair further, and tossed his tie to the side. “I know you have no regard for your well being, but I do. You’re hurt, are you okay to continue? We have all the time in the world, we don’t need to.”

 

“With how gentle you always are, I’m more than okay.” He cupped Foggy’s face with both hands, and leaned up for another kiss, just as gentle.

 

“Is that… do you not like that? I can be rough you know.” The way he said it, the way he was slightly worried and yet trying to sound offended that Matt might not believe him to be capable of it, made him smile.

 

“You have no idea”, another kiss, to his cheek this time. “How much I love the way you, well, make love. It’s the only way to describe it. I love how gentle you are, I… need it, after everything.”

 

“Oh, good. And here I thought all that moaning and begging for more was an act.” He brushed over Foggy’s lips to confirm the wide grin there, still preferring to feel him, all of him.

 

They made love for hours that night, Foggy taking his time in preparing him, stretching him wide, ever so gently. And by the time he was done Matt was hardly able to beg him to finally fill him up, but his lover knew exactly what he needed. Foggy already knew so well what he liked, which spots were most sensitive, that it drove him crazy if he rubbed soft circles on his hip, and he would almost start drooling if he started to kiss that one spot on his neck as well. He kept teasing him like that, until he was a whimpering mess, coming over both their chests with a strangled moan, with Foggy following soon after.  

 

But neither of them was done. They went back to talking, Matt resting on Foggy’s chest and listening to his steady heartbeat, to gather their energy for another round. All night, until Matt didn’t have any energy left and fell asleep with his lover complimenting him on keeping it up for that long.

 

He awoke to a note stuck to his face and Matt was going to get annoyed that Foggy had forgotten he couldn’t read it, until he realized it had been written in braille. He knew notepads like that existed but found them a little tiresome to use and when had Foggy even learned braille? Matt grinned as he let his fingers wander over the paper, which told him to stay home and rest, that Foggy would be meeting with their client and take care of everything. The large cluster of dots near the bottom confused him for a moment, but then he realized it was a little drawing of what would happen if he didn’t rest. It seemed painful but Matt couldn’t help the grin spreading on his face. Couldn’t stop grinning the entire day, not even when he bumped into the sink in the bathroom and almost opened one of his cuts again. He practically stumbled out of the shower when he heard the telltale sound of Foggy coming up the stairs, wrapped only a towel around his waist to greet him at the door with a stormy kiss. 

 

“I’m selfish, aren’t I?”, Matt asked, his arms around his friend’s neck, resting his forehead against his. “To take you as my best friend, as my lover when I… I can’t be all yours.”

 

The doubts were still there, that somehow, he was not allowed to have this, that he’d get him into trouble, or break his heart eventually.

 

“Maybe you’re allowed to be a bit selfish, Matt. You save so many people, you’ve saved Hell’s Kitchen and god, you being selfish makes me happy so please, please don’t stop. Don't stop being selfish.”

 

They both grinned into their next kiss, and Foggy kicked the door closed behind him, pushing, leading Matt towards the bedroom. Until he finally jumped up, to wrap his legs around his waist, Foggy’s hands cupping his ass.

 

“I think I can be selfish for a while longer.”

 

Oh yes, he thought as Foggy’s hair tickled his chest, lips burning trails of fire into his skin. He could definitely do this for a little while longer.

 

 


End file.
